True to my word, I’m going to continue to write periodically about my experience with OCD. Today seems like a good day for that.
Yesterday I was getting ready to leave for work. I had actually used my curling iron (that doesn’t happen too often anymore). I was running a little behind, so I quickly unplugged the iron, turned off the light, and headed out of the room. As I did, I stopped and thought, “Hmm. Maybe I should make sure that really unplugged.”
I turned the light back on and checked the outlet again.
Yup. All clear. I was free to proceed.
As I left, the memory of how that would have gone in the past struck me. Let’s go back about two years.
Two years ago, it would have gone something like this:
I unplugged the curling iron and started to head out of the bedroom. “Maybe that didn’t really unplug.” I turned the light back on. I could see that it was unplugged. However, that wasn’t enough. I had to walk over and touch the empty outlet. I turned out the light.Then I turned the light on again and had to touch the outlet AGAIN. Okay, I turned the light back off and walked all the way to the garage door. Yet, I couldn’t leave until I went back in the bedroom once more, turned on the light, looked at the outlet, felt the end of the cord, and touched the empty outlet. Finally, I felt released to go.
Wow! That was a lot of work to unplug something, huh?
For those of you who have never struggled with OCD, this probably seems absolutely ridiculous.
For those of you who have struggled with it, you’re probably saying, “I totally GET that!”
If you suffer from OCD, or something similar, let me encourage you to seek some help. Find a doctor you can trust. Make sure you have a family member or friend who loves you enough to allow you to share with them the things you are going through. I went years without doing either of those things.
So much wasted time. So, much happiness lost.
And, pray, pray, pray.
God knows you and He wants you to be whole, happy, and healthy. He has not given us life only to be prisoners to ourselves.
Hugs! Choose Joy. Choose Hope.